Bakwas Bath

Two separate and seemingly unrelated incidents incited me to write this blog post. First is my rank of a humble foot soldier in the all-conquering Bot Army ( the fandom of failed comedian, failed CEO, and general menace to society -Tanmay Bhat). Second is the horrid Gachibowli traffic which continues to be the bane of my existence as I sit pillion behind ever-disgruntled Rappido riders. You might wonder how these two seemingly mundane and unrelated aspects of my being could converge in this impromptu and poorly constructed defense of mediocrity. It all boils down to one of those random convergences of chance where coincidence meets an extremely bored little man with too much time on his hand and a penchant for bullshitting on this personal blog. So let us begin… The Original Bakchod: I have followed, laughed with, and deeply loved Tanmay Bhat right from his AIB days. But I only started respecting the man and viewing him as a role model after the failure of his media company and his res...

2022 was kind to me. I had started the year on rather unsure footing, a young professional with less than 6 months in the corporate jungle saying goodbye to the city he had called home for 23 years. Stuck at home amidst a seemingly unending pandemic my sanity was slipping before the first month had passed. Things definitely got better. I started taking better care of my body and felt fitter mentally and physically. Shifted again as I left the comfort of home for the first time and finally became a fully functional adult (sort of, my roommates got a strong ‘Papa’ energy) and made lots of new friends and cherished memories along the way. I got over the demons of my past and was able to let go of toxic bonds. And finally after 14 long years in the mud Arsenal feel like title contenders and Leo Messi; the undisputed GOAT( that's right, the debate is over) won the World Cup in the greatest final in sports history. 2022 was definitely very kind to me. But as any self respecting Bengali p...

  The following lines are from a poem by Pablo Neruda I have always loved The world is a tapestry Of color and light Of beauty and wonder That fills me with delight The sun on the horizon The stars in the night The flowers in the meadow A breathtaking sight But there is one thing That fills me with joy More than the wonders Of nature's employ It is you, my love With your smile so bright Your touch, your kiss That makes everything right So let us wander Through fields and through streams Hand in hand, forever In this beautiful dream In a century blessed with many outstanding literary figures, Neruda is perhaps one name that holds a weight greater than most. Arguably the greatest poet to emerge from Latin America; his ability to blend the absurd with the day to day, creating verses capable of  deep emotions of love and loss showed the incredible mastery he had over his craft. The above lines are a fine example of his remarkable skills. Only there is one problem, Pablo Neruda nev...

I remember picking up the 'Scion of Ikshvaku' with much enthusiasm when it first came out. Having loved the author’s previous trilogy of novels and wanting more, I was left sadly disappointed by the mediocre storyline and cheaply composed prose marred by a thousand cliches. It felt like I was reading a caricature of my much beloved author and not the real thing. But somewhere along a really dragged out middle section, a plot snippet stood out in my mind. In it the protagonist, prince Ram has his first encounter with the princess Sita. The incident left him not smittened or awestruck like most first encounters in fiction tend to pan out, but rather with his head bowing in respect. It was unique how pure and sincere the emotion was; no slow violins playing in the background, no skipped heartbeats or butterfly filled stomachs, but simple old fashioned respect and admiration. I found this emotion, spread across the pages of an extremely mediocre piece of fiction fascinating and a...

Product managers are a strange breed. The flock from all sorts with every possible overused cliché for a backstory you can think of. If the ever expanding digital landscape can be likened to an unending ocean then these ‘Product Folks’ are the pirates of these high seas. Like the social rejects that were the ‘scallywags’ of old, this creed of men all flock under a common banner with no nation to call their own; they don't belong in tech, not with design and are shunned by business. They are the homeless and the loveless, always searching for their next big booty; armed with cannons of redundant KPIs and bullshit jargon they sail. But of all the treasures they pursue, the once most prized of all, the one all seek but few ever achieve, the one that really gets their dicks hard in the morning : What makes a product truly Great? So look no further for I have the answer. Well not really, that would be way too presumptuous of me. What I do have is a product I really like and a fairly goo...

I was born into a cold winter night. After struggling for what seemed like an eon the shell of my egg finally cracked and I peered into the world outside. I still remember the first sight I ever saw, my father’s ball sack all shrivelled up by the Antarctic winds as he kept me warm between his legs. Averting my gaze, not wanting to make things too awkward during our first interaction I saw the beautiful night sky lit up in a thousand colours of the cold winter months. I heard my tribe sing the song of my people, praying for the fish to be plenty and the seals that hunted us to be few and far in between. Frankly I didn't care for any of it, I’d much rather go back inside my egg where it was warm and quiet and completely safe from unfortunate scrotal sightings. It was during that very first night that doubt first arose in my mind that maybe I was born a penguin but would much rather not be one; and this thought has haunted me my entire life. I never liked the plain colour pattern o...

Cats: I like cats. I’m not a big pet person but if I were ever forced to keep a pet, I’d most likely adopt a feral kitten. I feel they would be a lot less emotionally dependent on me and we could set up a somewhat symbiotic relationship. It would not be My Cat, the sole property of its owner; but rather a cat that happens to live under the same roof as me. A freeloading roommate of sorts. And I in part will not have to make my pet cat my entire personality (here’s looking at you Dog lovers) but rather a source of companionship in my day to day. A mellow co-dependent form of living where a man and a cat, both distinct individuals live their own unique lives. A neighbourhood zen monk meditating One of my earliest childhood memories is of a feral molly which gave birth to a litter of kittens on the tin roof of our old house. For about a month I would awake to the incessant meowing of the kittens as they called out to their mother for food and warmth. I would always try to catch a glimpse...